She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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