through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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