Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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