i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
