i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
