If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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