No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
