i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
