the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
