How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
