If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
