and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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