i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
