Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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