I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
