either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
