Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
