I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
