haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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