I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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