Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
