Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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