I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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