i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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