Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
