It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The air was thick with penises
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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