im about as happy as oj after his trial
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You need Xanax blowdarts
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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