how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
