I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
