Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
