wanna go halves on a baby?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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