he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
