Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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