how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
