I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
