Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
