just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
