I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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