my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
tequila makes me forget i have legs
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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