I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
