your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
