I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
