normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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