I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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