just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
