Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
