Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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