direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
