Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
