We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
