I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
